1975-1985

Knob had a buncha regular features, mostly to re-use art, as far as I could tell. Some of 'em were okay and some sucked donkey dicks. The reaction ones were a little bit of both. They could run hot or cold, or just in between. I mostly liked 'em. Even the shitty ones would make you laugh, and they had the sense like they were shitty on purpose, or like the intern was having  a bad day. Thing is, there'd only be one every coupla issues or so, you never saw 'em side to side or read 'em back to back. It's like a TV show. I gotta explain to the youngsters out there, you couldn't used to pick what show to watch when. Stuff was just on. the only binging you could do was chugging a six pack before your older brother realized you got in his stash and kicked your ass. With a nice buzz, you don't care about a little beating. Anyway, yeah, I thought i'd put a few of these together so the young'uns out there could binge read 'em. 

 

12.1973

People always say "honesty is the best policy", but honesty isn't a fucking policy, it's... an... i dunno, like an attribute or something. A policy is "no dogs in the park" or "keep off the grass". nobody ever saw a fucking sign that said "honest" on it, or "entering honesty zone". i mean, sometimes some news schmucks put up some dumb sign along those lines, but nto lke out in the real world, if yo udnon't got cable, you don't see none of that shit. 

this one cracked me up, tho. man, them little guys are sure going to town on that big mass of woman. definitely a team effort over there. you gotta watch when you're going big, tho, she could cum too hard and buck you off and you could smack your  head into a wall or something. yeah, that's no good. head trauma does not enhance the sexual experience, it's not like getting choked real good. ooops, i said too much... or did i?

 

11.1983

My buddy used ta always say, guys that talk about how big their dicks are had really, really small dicks. And guys that say they've probablyg ot an average, normal, or even a little of a shorter sized pecker, well, those guys were even smaller. Going by that... I dunno what to even say about my own stuff. Guess I won't. Leave ya guessin' 'bout what i'm packin'. Leave ya thinking about it. Imagine it, like that John Lennon song.

I know tho this one time my buddy was getting with this real piece a bar trash and she said she dated one guy with just nothing down there, like the to the second knuckel of her pinky finger as she described it and she was pretty dainty. She said she'd let him stick it in her ass because he really liked it and that ways she could at least feel soemthing, not pain, not even close, just something. I assume she still was faking the Os, if she was even doing that, but I guess it was like a little reminder of what ws going on incase she got to far off into a day dream. 

 

04.1977

I don't know a lot about htis one and so I'm not gonna say a lot, a little out of my league one the smarts level, i just like the dick slap image, that's a classic. And I thoguth, this is the internet, who know swhose reading this stuff, maybe there's some smarty pantses out there who might get an even bigger chuckle then i got. Have at it you fucking dorks, enjoy! Sorry abotu all the wedgies in high school. 

12.1984

One thing about Knob I can't tell, looking back at it now, is whether or not they were making fun of the fashions of the time or not. Like Slick Billy Ray here. I thought he was coola as fuck and in some ways I modeled my look, and probably too much of my behavior after the gyuy. Would the Knobistas have laughed at me if they knew that, or... shit they might have even looked like this. I know Knob had the kinda money where they could get models and whatnot, but they probagly drew from life, cause i herd that's whtz artists do. Shit, mebbe one of the guys in the office wsas Slick Billy Ray. Who knows. I also like how they scrambled the pick up lines so that they woulnd't get used by the real dumb fucks. That's a problem with dating advice today, any dipshit cna watch the YouTube video and then the good lines get wasted by theg creepers, then they're no good to use. Gotta have some way to exclude the real knumbskulls, ya know? Like a decoder ring or something. Lol. 

03.1974

 You ever seen that bigfoot video? I'm not an expertb, but i assume some guy in a suit would like overdo it, right? Like in a movie where a guy's in a gorrilla suit, they always overdo it, nothing like the stoic diginity of say, Harambe. The being in that video is just walking, sorta pissed off looking, like me walking away the restroom at work when somebody already blew it up and I'm mad, but I also gotta get to the other facility with a bit of urgency, got me? Thing that has always got me on the bigfoots, bigfeet? topic is sorta like this comic. There would have to be bigfeet, bigfoots?, women and if there were women, the guys would act a fool to get their attention, you get me? gotta turn her head before you turn down the sheets, right? Well, that, and I also had a van like this back in the day and... bigfoot ain't wrong in his approach...

10.1973

With this one, I don't even kno if it's real or not. Could be either way. Either those jokesters, those Knobbers had their way wtih some silliness, or there was really such a place. It was the 70s, man, and I'd believe anything. They say if you can remember the early 70s, you weren't there. Knob remembers! I think that's havlf the reason we even invented print, to keep score when we'd get wasted. I mean, shit, i can't trust my own memory even when i'm sober half the time. I dunno about being nude all day, either. I spill a lot of stuff on myself. Hot coffee's no joy, but would be a hunnerd times worse on your scrote. I can't even imagine what would turn up on my belly button after a day in my birthday suit. And man, I had enough awkward boners in high school. I don't even want to consider what sorts of embarssments I'd rack up out in public. Is that roadkill? Does anybody smell that? Hey, this guy's hard over here! Hard from the scent of decay and death. No thanks, I don't need that. Even thinkin' a this scenario is gonna stop me getting hard for a week.