11.1984

This is a classic bit from Knob, wrong in all the right ways. There are so many levels of WTF? goin' on and you can laugh at any of 'em. Why does the dog on the left know what dick tastes like? Pretty clear the poodle has seen some stuff, but also, who's putting their dick into the peanut buttter? Pretty sure you're suppose dto put the peanut butter on the dick, not th other way around, or so i imagine, got no practical experience with the matter. Not going to say anyhting more about that because the mre you deny the more guilty you appear. But i never did that, not even once, on a dare, never on accident, just don't know anything about it, it's in shows and movie sin sutff, pretty sure that's why I evne know it's a thing. 

 

10.1983

I'm hoping that pencilled in bit, definitey my dad's scrawl, was for some sort of omlete or other egg dish he was prepping for breakfast, but i got a real bad creepingfeeling that it ain't that. Well, one wya or antoher, those egg whiteswere getting pretty fujcking scarambled if you get me meaning. Also, back in the day,t ehre was no egg whites. There was no healthy (or racist) eating where it was whites only. Nah, everybody ate the whol3e fucking egg. Fuck, Rocky chugged half a dozen down like a shot of whiskey for breakfast. Ugh. Just got a little shiver thinking about those yokes sliding down, just lump afer lump hitting the back of your throat, making you make that glug glug glug sound, you know the one, you sick fuck. Maybe you don't, I don't know you. I do know this design works, heard if from a friend, hehe hehe he

 

01.1982

I guess they callit a ghlory hole like ironically, right? like happy hour is when the dead eyed drunks get a head start on the rest of their depressing evening. there might be gold in them thar hills, but there ain't no glory in them holes. i guess if you go through the wall wall instead of the stall wall, you got a chance, but i don't think too many broads are looking for a random dick stickin' outta the wall. maybe. i dunno. come to think of it, i've met a few that would be allt o happy to find an available cock anywhere. and yeah, them was the ones that would pretty mcuh treat that found weienr with all the love and  care Rubber Guy is getting here. I alway slike old Rubber Guy, mainly cause he doesn't seme to like himself too much. I can relate to that. Anyhoo, enjoy!

08.1976

Yeah, I got a chuckle out of this one, so what? It's got good comicbookyness. Hey, could be worse, could be a priest tuggin' to some harlot's sordid confessions. Gotta assume that's happened before. My one Italian friend told me that back in his town, the young men were all extra over the top with the sex stuff because they felt bad for the priest not getting any so they felt like they should give him some good stories to think about, and they didn't want to lie, because that would be another five or six hail marys. Not that guys need an excuse or anything special to start tugging. I bet there are phone help guys who work at home that only jerk it to when a woman describes specific sorts of problems with their product, like they can only achieve if the red blinkly light is on, but not if the service panel is stuck shut, or vice versa. At this point, there is no "guy jerkin' off" story that can surprise me, but I can get a chuckle, like I got from this one. 

 

12.1984

I had a buddy back some years, guy from India. One time he was talking shit about how you go to church in the U.S. and the priest has to look in a book to do his thing. You go to the symphony and everybody's turning pages. He said that back in his country, the priests knew the stuff and the musicians all knew the stuff and why couldn't anybody ove4r here remember stuff enough to do it without reading a book. So, you know I had to bring up the Kama Sutra and be like, well, buddy, over hwere, we can take a girl to poundtown and get home without a map, unlikeyou all and your illustrations. Though, in his defense, the one time I looked at the Kama Sutra, a lot of that stuff was pretty advanced and I could see how you'd want ot write it down so you don't forgert, especilly if you came up with a real good one. I'm pretty much alway splstered when i'm doing the nasty anyway so my recollections are not clear or numers enough to, well, collect. So, when I saw this one in an issue of Knob, I had to laugh. Finally, sex for Americans! USA! USA! USA!

03.1976

Well, it's almost Halloween. Suprised they still even let kids eat candy anymore. Seems like everything else you maybe could enjoy in life is off limits. I feel bad for the little shits, i reallydo. At this point, I'd be shocked, in a good way, impressed really, if some youngsters had the gumption to fuck up anything on my property. Maybe this year I'll help 'em out, maybe it will be the year i finally go get some gourds to leave out. I ain't carvin' shit, but whatgeveer. Nice thing is you don't have to bring 'em in, just put 'em out and then get used to the smell. Cycle of life, it's nature's way. Yeah, Knob may not have been Martha Stewart, but they're throwing out festive ideas to help you out with the holdiays. I'm in the spirit for some entertaining. Ya know, I wouldn't be too surprised if those ones who made that movie wherethe teen fucks the apple pie were Knob readers. 

06.1975

 man, they could really pack in the detail in some of these panels. i dunno if they used little tiny pencils or what, but man, the amount of peversion per square inch has to be up ther. You jsut don't see that density of depravity these days. I don't know much about art or drawing, but i definitely feel like the young people of today don't have that work ethic to crank out this much action to sell the gag. Nah, kids today just find a picture of something and put some dumb words on topo and call it a day. Then they do a dance or whatever. It's about craftsmanship and attention to detaill. Knob that that stuff, really going all in on the bit. You just don't see it today, is all i'm saying.