05.1974

Man, I don't think kids today could even understand the whole idea of an arcade. They got games on their phones, games on the computer, and then a game thing on the TV, or in the TV, I don't even know. I had a watch with a game in it,b ut it was a dogshit game and a shitty watch ontop of that. But man, wehen I read this one, i cold hear the arcade sounds, all jumbling ontop of each other and then, the smell. Tehre was always a smell. And this game cabinent loosk oike it had it's own smell, too. I'm sure. Yikes. I played the shitty game sin the back plenty, no lines, no older asshole kids crwoded around. yeah, this is a winner. And you can't go wrong with thee boobs. Its like a mystical think. The myst8ical third boob. One foreach hand and one left over for the mouth. It just makes sense. 

 

11.1973

Besides this amazing green thing they are doin' here, I love this style of joek that Knob was donig all the time. YOu come up with some idea making fun of something but then you go back and say the made fun of version was the original and that the one everybody knows is a toned down or sanitized version of that original, like original ideas are all dirty and it's the man keeping you from the truth. lol. 

They were way ahead of thir time with that. They could be writing this kinda stuff today and people would be like, damn right, son. 

 

11.1984

This is a classic bit from Knob, wrong in all the right ways. There are so many levels of WTF? goin' on and you can laugh at any of 'em. Why does the dog on the left know what dick tastes like? Pretty clear the poodle has seen some stuff, but also, who's putting their dick into the peanut buttter? Pretty sure you're suppose dto put the peanut butter on the dick, not th other way around, or so i imagine, got no practical experience with the matter. Not going to say anyhting more about that because the mre you deny the more guilty you appear. But i never did that, not even once, on a dare, never on accident, just don't know anything about it, it's in shows and movie sin sutff, pretty sure that's why I evne know it's a thing. 

 

10.1983

I'm hoping that pencilled in bit, definitey my dad's scrawl, was for some sort of omlete or other egg dish he was prepping for breakfast, but i got a real bad creepingfeeling that it ain't that. Well, one wya or antoher, those egg whiteswere getting pretty fujcking scarambled if you get me meaning. Also, back in the day,t ehre was no egg whites. There was no healthy (or racist) eating where it was whites only. Nah, everybody ate the whol3e fucking egg. Fuck, Rocky chugged half a dozen down like a shot of whiskey for breakfast. Ugh. Just got a little shiver thinking about those yokes sliding down, just lump afer lump hitting the back of your throat, making you make that glug glug glug sound, you know the one, you sick fuck. Maybe you don't, I don't know you. I do know this design works, heard if from a friend, hehe hehe he

 

01.1982

I guess they callit a ghlory hole like ironically, right? like happy hour is when the dead eyed drunks get a head start on the rest of their depressing evening. there might be gold in them thar hills, but there ain't no glory in them holes. i guess if you go through the wall wall instead of the stall wall, you got a chance, but i don't think too many broads are looking for a random dick stickin' outta the wall. maybe. i dunno. come to think of it, i've met a few that would be allt o happy to find an available cock anywhere. and yeah, them was the ones that would pretty mcuh treat that found weienr with all the love and  care Rubber Guy is getting here. I alway slike old Rubber Guy, mainly cause he doesn't seme to like himself too much. I can relate to that. Anyhoo, enjoy!

08.1976

Yeah, I got a chuckle out of this one, so what? It's got good comicbookyness. Hey, could be worse, could be a priest tuggin' to some harlot's sordid confessions. Gotta assume that's happened before. My one Italian friend told me that back in his town, the young men were all extra over the top with the sex stuff because they felt bad for the priest not getting any so they felt like they should give him some good stories to think about, and they didn't want to lie, because that would be another five or six hail marys. Not that guys need an excuse or anything special to start tugging. I bet there are phone help guys who work at home that only jerk it to when a woman describes specific sorts of problems with their product, like they can only achieve if the red blinkly light is on, but not if the service panel is stuck shut, or vice versa. At this point, there is no "guy jerkin' off" story that can surprise me, but I can get a chuckle, like I got from this one. 

 

12.1984

I had a buddy back some years, guy from India. One time he was talking shit about how you go to church in the U.S. and the priest has to look in a book to do his thing. You go to the symphony and everybody's turning pages. He said that back in his country, the priests knew the stuff and the musicians all knew the stuff and why couldn't anybody ove4r here remember stuff enough to do it without reading a book. So, you know I had to bring up the Kama Sutra and be like, well, buddy, over hwere, we can take a girl to poundtown and get home without a map, unlikeyou all and your illustrations. Though, in his defense, the one time I looked at the Kama Sutra, a lot of that stuff was pretty advanced and I could see how you'd want ot write it down so you don't forgert, especilly if you came up with a real good one. I'm pretty much alway splstered when i'm doing the nasty anyway so my recollections are not clear or numers enough to, well, collect. So, when I saw this one in an issue of Knob, I had to laugh. Finally, sex for Americans! USA! USA! USA!