03.1976

Well, it's almost Halloween. Suprised they still even let kids eat candy anymore. Seems like everything else you maybe could enjoy in life is off limits. I feel bad for the little shits, i reallydo. At this point, I'd be shocked, in a good way, impressed really, if some youngsters had the gumption to fuck up anything on my property. Maybe this year I'll help 'em out, maybe it will be the year i finally go get some gourds to leave out. I ain't carvin' shit, but whatgeveer. Nice thing is you don't have to bring 'em in, just put 'em out and then get used to the smell. Cycle of life, it's nature's way. Yeah, Knob may not have been Martha Stewart, but they're throwing out festive ideas to help you out with the holdiays. I'm in the spirit for some entertaining. Ya know, I wouldn't be too surprised if those ones who made that movie wherethe teen fucks the apple pie were Knob readers. 

06.1975

 man, they could really pack in the detail in some of these panels. i dunno if they used little tiny pencils or what, but man, the amount of peversion per square inch has to be up ther. You jsut don't see that density of depravity these days. I don't know much about art or drawing, but i definitely feel like the young people of today don't have that work ethic to crank out this much action to sell the gag. Nah, kids today just find a picture of something and put some dumb words on topo and call it a day. Then they do a dance or whatever. It's about craftsmanship and attention to detaill. Knob that that stuff, really going all in on the bit. You just don't see it today, is all i'm saying. 

02.1981

Ah, ole Too Tall Tommy... one of my faves, but I couldn't find any of them going through the stacks but this one. Did find a lotta Too Tall Tommy sized holes in pages, tho. I'm prolly gonna blame this on my cousin, least I think he was my couin. The bloodline was never all thart clear adn to this day I couldn't tell ya how we were related, if we even were. I know he loved the Tommy bits, Tommy and the Pope, Tommy and Phyllis Diller, Tommy and Lassie... I'm struggling to think of somebody that didn't end up hitchin' a ride and rolling their eyes while Tommy shouted out Hillbilly-ese into his CB like like there was no tomorrow. Not sure how this one survived the chop. Also don't know if the creators of the character would be happy or sad to know some people, like my "cousin", saw him as a role model and ended up pretty much being him. Course my cousin was fat as all get out an so I assume he went by Weally Wide Willy, he also talkked like that so I'm pretty sure. I think my dad had a beer coozy and mebbe a trucker hat with ole Tommy, yackin' it all across the pot holed highways of this great land. 

 

1975-1985

Knob had a buncha regular features, mostly to re-use art, as far as I could tell. Some of 'em were okay and some sucked donkey dicks. The reaction ones were a little bit of both. They could run hot or cold, or just in between. I mostly liked 'em. Even the shitty ones would make you laugh, and they had the sense like they were shitty on purpose, or like the intern was having  a bad day. Thing is, there'd only be one every coupla issues or so, you never saw 'em side to side or read 'em back to back. It's like a TV show. I gotta explain to the youngsters out there, you couldn't used to pick what show to watch when. Stuff was just on. the only binging you could do was chugging a six pack before your older brother realized you got in his stash and kicked your ass. With a nice buzz, you don't care about a little beating. Anyway, yeah, I thought i'd put a few of these together so the young'uns out there could binge read 'em. 

 

12.1973

People always say "honesty is the best policy", but honesty isn't a fucking policy, it's... an... i dunno, like an attribute or something. A policy is "no dogs in the park" or "keep off the grass". nobody ever saw a fucking sign that said "honest" on it, or "entering honesty zone". i mean, sometimes some news schmucks put up some dumb sign along those lines, but nto lke out in the real world, if yo udnon't got cable, you don't see none of that shit. 

this one cracked me up, tho. man, them little guys are sure going to town on that big mass of woman. definitely a team effort over there. you gotta watch when you're going big, tho, she could cum too hard and buck you off and you could smack your  head into a wall or something. yeah, that's no good. head trauma does not enhance the sexual experience, it's not like getting choked real good. ooops, i said too much... or did i?

 

11.1983

My buddy used ta always say, guys that talk about how big their dicks are had really, really small dicks. And guys that say they've probablyg ot an average, normal, or even a little of a shorter sized pecker, well, those guys were even smaller. Going by that... I dunno what to even say about my own stuff. Guess I won't. Leave ya guessin' 'bout what i'm packin'. Leave ya thinking about it. Imagine it, like that John Lennon song.

I know tho this one time my buddy was getting with this real piece a bar trash and she said she dated one guy with just nothing down there, like the to the second knuckel of her pinky finger as she described it and she was pretty dainty. She said she'd let him stick it in her ass because he really liked it and that ways she could at least feel soemthing, not pain, not even close, just something. I assume she still was faking the Os, if she was even doing that, but I guess it was like a little reminder of what ws going on incase she got to far off into a day dream. 

 

04.1977

I don't know a lot about htis one and so I'm not gonna say a lot, a little out of my league one the smarts level, i just like the dick slap image, that's a classic. And I thoguth, this is the internet, who know swhose reading this stuff, maybe there's some smarty pantses out there who might get an even bigger chuckle then i got. Have at it you fucking dorks, enjoy! Sorry abotu all the wedgies in high school.